Post by , carlisle travis reese. on Feb 19, 2009 21:25:53 GMT -5
never really said too much, afraid it wouldn't be enough
just try to keep my spirits up when there's no point in grieving
[/b][/color][/font]T Reese was nervous, which was an emotion he wasn’t overly familiar with. He usually had no reason to be nervous or worried about anything most of the time, but this was something different. And really, based on the present situation, he shouldn’t have been feeling nervous at all. Surprises were a good thing, right? Especially for people’s birthdays. Most people loved them, after all. But this wasn’t most people. This was his own older brother, Nate. And Nate was incredibly picky when it came to surprises, especially on his birthday. They hadn’t really celebrated it properly for years, and CT thought it was time for that to end. He just didn’t know if his brother would be as gung ho about it as he was, and he really didn’t feel like getting his ass kicked tonight. He just wasn’t in the mood. A lot of people would think that his actions were sweet, and he definitely had the most honorable and genuine of intentions. He just didn’t want his brother to think that he was trying to ambush him or anything, because that was honestly the last thing he wanted. And even though he knew better than anyone that the past wasn’t going to be forgotten any time soon, it was beyond time to try and finally let some of that pain go. It couldn’t be healthy to be carrying all that around with you for years, could it? Especially when the circumstances were beyond their control, beyond anyone’s control.
Nate and CT’s parents had died—well, been killed, really—on September 11, when CT had been only thirteen years old and needing them more than ever. Fifteen-year-old Nate had been forced to grow up unbelievably fast, taking on the task of caring for his terrified younger brother. CT had admired him beyond words then, and if anything, his awe had only intensified now. Nate was a ridiculously strong person, something CT had never really considered himself to be. But they had traveled across the country together while growing up, finally adopted by a family in Virginia Beach. During that time, Nate had gone from being CT’s older brother to his father, basically, and as far as CT was concerned, there was no way in the world he was ever going to be able to even begin to repay Nate for all that he’d done over the years. Taking his brother out to dinner for his birthday would only be a small token of his undying gratitude and appreciation.
For as long as CT could remember, their mother had always made the two boys their favorite foods on their birthday. And Nate, without a doubt, year after year, would always want pancakes. Not just any pancakes, no. They had to be chocolate chip. It was a treat for CT, too, because he would swear across the board that their mother made the very best pancakes in the entire world, and nothing anyone could say or do could ever make him think otherwise. But after their deaths, Nate had merely wanted to ignore his birthday altogether, considering it a reminder of yet another year without Mr. and Mrs. Reese. CT had wanted to continue the tradition for a while now, in honor of their parents’ lives and love for the two of them, but Nate had steadfastly and adamantly refused a celebration of any sort, preferring to pretend the day didn’t even exist and he wasn’t in fact growing another year older. It made CT unbelievably sad to think that something his mother had believed so strongly in, that one of their family’s most beloved and honored traditions, had died out along with their parents. He didn’t think that would be what his parents wanted—in fact, he was positive of it. They’d want him and his brother to be happy, which was what they had always wanted for their boys. And despite how much he claimed the contrary to be true, Nate Reese was anything but happy, especially whenever his birthday rolled around.
Therefore, CT had cooked up this plan to take Nate out to eat at IHOP for his birthday this year. They were going to eat chocolate chip pancakes, in fact, and just have a nice, quiet night remembering their parents and that they did in fact have a lot to be celebrating, even if not all the Reeses could be there to enjoy it with them. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure that the only way he was going to get Nate there at all was if he knocked him unconscious first and then tossed him into the car. Granted, he didn’t plan on doing anything quite that dramatic tonight, but he was going to have to use a blindfold to get Nate not to ask thirty million questions about what was going on—which wasn’t to say that he still wouldn’t. Hell, knowing his stubborn ass brother, Nate would probably just ask more. At this point, though, CT didn’t care. He wanted to get back to how happy they all had been once, or at least try to. He wanted birthdays to be something to celebrate again, not a painful reminder of the past that would always haunt them for the rest of their lives, and if that made him a selfish brother, then damn it, he was selfish. But he wasn’t doing this just for him. Not at all. He was definitely doing it for Nate. Because if anyone deserved to be able to be at peace with themselves, it was him. And after everything Nate had done for him, CT figured this was the very least he could do. He knew Nate partially blamed himself, thinking there was so much more he could have done for CT growing up when they both knew there wasn’t. CT couldn’t have asked for someone better to be the one to take care of him, and at least if he had to lose his parents, he was glad he hadn’t lost Nate, too. Without his brother, he honestly could say that he didn’t know where he’d be right at this very moment. And like his parents, he just wanted Nate to be happy. He thought that this might just be a step in the right direction.
Hearing the front door close, CT stirred on his bed, sitting up straighter. Nate was finally home from work. Time to put his plan into action. Sliding off the bed, his sneakers hit the floor as he stood, and he ran a hand through his shaggy chestnut brown hair. His heart started pounding a bit in his chest as he realized just how truly nervous he was. Oh, well. He couldn’t back out now, right? Right. Taking a deep breath to steady and prepare himself, he crossed the carpet over to the door and hustled down the stairs, nodding at his brother standing in the front hallway. ”Yo, bro.” he paused, unsure of what else to say. ‘Happy Birthday’ didn’t seem like the best of ideas, given the current situation. But he wanted his brother to know just what was up, too. So in the end, he cleared his throat and settled on, ”So, I was thinking we could…uh…go out tonight?” How weak. Nate was probably going to hate him for this. But this was for everyone’s own good. It was time to move on, to let go, to finally dull some of this pain. Nate carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it was high time for CT to help do his part to relieve some of it. Even if all he had to offer were chocolate chip pancakes.
tags: natemotherfuckingreese.
status: doneeee.
notes: incredibly cute![/ul][/size][/font][/blockquote]
